A Material Salvation

Let’s face it folks, we’re material stuff. Yet our mind, although the stuff of divine is contingent on material for its being. Knock us around a bit and we eventually lose our humanity in fits of disastrous rage as seen in the murderous acts of Chris Benoit—having a brain left looking like Swiss cheese after a career in the WWE. Knock us around a lot and we forget our name, what time used to mean, what used to bother and anger us all the while sitting blissfully in piss and shit-filled underwear, as we drool uncontrollably onto our shirts and laugh in hysterics at the random misfiring that we can hardly call thoughts. Yes, we’re made of flimsy stuff. Man is meant to correct the horror called natural law; survival of the fittest. This world is truly a world that is the analog of hell more surely. We are shown this truth routinely on nature loving TV shows and channels that inadvertently portray the futility and self-perpetuating disaster that is called the animal kingdom. Look a big fish eats a little fish; look a flying bird is pulling out the intestines of the little mouse with its beak and feeding them to its offspring; look a crocodile is competing with the lions for the bloated corps of a wildebeest; look the lion is eating the little cubs of the lioness after having ripped off the genitals of the former dominant male. Truly this is a magnificent and noble design. (The sad thing is that we look at some animals and see beauty, where they themselves see nothing and experience mostly fear or anxiety; that’s a sick trick of this foolish world, but I digress.) We finally have a chance now to push through the darkness of prior times, of times and places where God was everything, the rocks, the water, the trees, the people the animals, the food, the droughts, the happy times, the sadness, the sickness, the health, dark places, and the bright ones; all were enchanted. We war with nature, we war with our neighbor, we war with ourselves, and we war with God. We start to win that war through knowledge and understanding; knowledge of the other (of our neighbor and of God), and the laws of nature. The first step in understanding God is to discover where God is not. As knowledge grows, an interesting thing happens—God disappears from the places where he was formerly thought to reside. This great uncovering sees the places where God does not rightly occupy stripped of this darkness to reveal the truth. God gives birth to the truth, but God is a placeholder for darkness; the truth is the reality of God (the things that are really of God and not our imagination). It’s not enough to have knowledge, because knowledge cannot exist on its own; it takes a society to foster the growth of that knowledge. Yet relying on people as chief stewards of knowledge is very risky; as we have seen throughout history when there is a disagreement about what is known, the knowledge is spoiled because people fight war. People (the stewards of knowledge) are killed, books are burned, storehouses of wisdom crumble, and infrastructure is lost. Just as it is by chance that one species will supersede another species, so too can knowledge succeed in growing in the minds of people across a span of time. This luck has finally happened. Humanity has succeeded in successfully perpetuating knowledge so that we can begin to bring about a material salvation. Paradoxically it was the threat of mutually assured destruction that now bought the time necessary to cooperate to see to it that knowledge be given its rightful place in the order of things. Wars still happen, but only within backward places of this world or by people whose minds are still clouded in darkness.

Selfishness, law unto myself

(Originally penned in 2010) For me there has always been a difficulty in trying to harmonize my tendency towards selfishness with the Christian ideal of selflessness (no doubt other religions teach the same kind of altruism). Paul tirelessly proclaims Christ's message at the expense of his own physical welfare, and writes in his epistle, "For I am already being poured out as a drink offering..."

I find it curious how it is possible for the human mind to support its guiding principles, ideals--it's ethos--on ill conceived notions, uninformed assertions or worse, error and self-delusion. I speak from my own authority, who carries in him a human mind wrestling with bouts of self-doubt, insecurity, and hypocrisy--I carry in me a law of selfishness--a law unto myself.

Now I consider the necessity for this condition when I observe around me a culture of compulsive competition: social (who do you know?), economic (what do you have?), intellectual (what do you know?) physical (how do you look?), and experiential (have you done this? have you been there? have you seen this seen this? have you done this? can you do that?) Conforming to one or more of these attributes will help improve one's own success. All of this is evident to a greater or lesser extent as we navigate in modern life. I have been programmed to a certain degree by this culture. I can surely say that I am not alone.

How do I achieve my success? To make my gain I require taking something from someone else. Prosperity is disparity. (A definition of material success requires a continuum from the gutter-most to the utter-most, in other words, the meaning of material success has no meaning if it has no standard. A standard of success is always compared to a standard of non-success.) A commodity has a value, because it is takes work to produce it or has perceived or actual scarcity in the marketplace. As soon as I own a property, it is space that is permanently off limits to someone else. If I carry a dollar, then that dollar carries a debt holder. If I consume a plate of food, then that's one less meal for another.

In order to become successful I must realize my full potential. To do this I must concentrate my own resources to an end that will face this culture of competition. Some of the ways I can compete might include selecting an occupation that is in high demand, learning a useful skill, studying a prominent language, meeting people of high social standing, etc. Oddly enough, when I concentrate this effort upon myself I shall diminish the opportunity another might enjoy if I would have humbly offered my time and energy out of altruistic intention.

On the other hand, it is only by cultivating my own latent potential for success that I generate the momentum necessary to effect a positive impact on society, otherwise my efforts are in vain. For example, if I'm a foreign aid worker who distributes food, I am doing good work by carrying grain to hungry citizens in Africa. But greater good can come about if I add a medical degree and medical practice to his skill set, which can enable me to diagnose and treat illness (a more specialized and demanding vocation). Building this skill set requires temporarily diverting time, money, and effort away from foreign aid work, and concentrating it into prepare myself in the practice of medicine. While I am studying it is possible that some food is not making its way to the hungry and these ones shall suffer.

One theory of reality observes a law of conservation in particle matter (i.e., subatomic particles) that supervenes (e.g., makes dependent) the existence of the macroscopic world. It calls matter and energy one in the same. The fields that the subatomic particles generate are conserved to sustain the atom. This means that if two particles are smashed together you could end up with the same two particles plus other assorted particles. These new particles are not free (something from nothing) instead they appear because the momentum of the collision generated matter from the energy through the conservation of energy. It is only by retaining this energy that mater can exist. This means that the universe contains a finite amount of matter/energy--nothing is created and nothing is destroyed. By extension a certain kind of "selfishness" can be observed by the particles as they are given form through a containment of energy.

Carried to its logical conclusion even human existence itself carries with it a disparity, albeit an abstracted one. The very fact that I am an individual means that no other person will be able to experience my being, my soul. The things that I experience I will never be able to properly convey in words, and even so could never properly render the state of my being into the symbols of language. The state of being is an infinite barrier, standing like silos infinitely tall and infinitely deep. Even if I want to share my joy and impart my glorious visceral realizations, believing that it would help someone in a moment of need; it can never be done in this realm.

In God’s Image and Likeness

(This blog was originally penned in 2010) Gen 1:26 - Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness… I recently reflected on the popular Genesis verse that I’ve simply taken for granted all my life. Hearing this statement over and over in Catholic and Protestant services has caused me never to question its truth and applicability. Its truth is assured only if God were the author, because it is granting its creation a very privileged position in the grand scheme. If God is not its author, then… For this post, let me just focus on my concerns about its applicability. I have become exceedingly concerned in my own thinking about the impossibility of true selflessness. My own preference to an altruistic act is disrupted by the massive edifice of total and absolute selfishness that is my human being. Oh yes, I am acting in a socially acceptable manner when I give time and resources to a cause that both I and society have agreed is a benevolent act and graceful act. But looking a little deeper into the intention and biological mechanics I soon see the doubt that has pressed my mind for answers. Let’s look very briefly at my so called selfless act. Why am I doing good works when I support a needy cause? Because the injustice I observe may be met by the surplus resources that I hold in my possession for which I give to resolve my perception of injustice. I see a hungry child, I have food, I wish to fill that child, I hand the child food, see that the food is eaten to the satisfaction of the child, and I gain a sense that the injustice of hunger has been sated. This is a perfect act of benevolence, right? Not so fast. I could be giving food for many different reasons. I might be achieving thoughts of self-aggrandizement; I hold the power over hunger that takes control of this child. I might be putting on display my charity for others to watch; look at me, see how good I am to alleviate the suffering of this child. I might be trying to unload some of my selfish wealth; after my sprawling condo has been furnished with five LCD smart TVs and two SUVs keep each other company in my three-car garage next to my two custom Harleys, I really feel it’s time to give back. I might be giving from my poverty; my bones begin to poke through my skin, the saliva pools in my throat almost making me choke as I hand my precious bread with a holy ecstatic gaze while my weak and shaking hands place the food into the hand of this better and more deserving child. Am I am looking for blessing from God? My body is no better. I see it as fundamentally weak and self-serving. Each cell consumes what it wants, craves and groans when it doesn't have what it wants, sometimes it gives only once it has taken its fill or greedily hoards energy. I`m a total slave to a balanced environment: free of excessive heat or cold, free of cosmic and nuclear radiation, given sufficient atmospheric pressure, given the right mixture of gases, water to act as the medium for my cells, food for my cells to eat, etc. Just take away food from me and watch me change! Just take away water from me and watch me change! Just take away oxygen from me and watch how my cells become very selfish indeed. Surely in all of this I have lost my humanity and cannot live up to my title as made in the image of God.

Shattering Construals

These days I am reading A Secular Age by Charles Taylor (the Canadian philosopher, not the one from Africa) and I am being enlightened, no question. It is changing how I see secular culture and giving me a 10,000 foot historical overview of the Latin church. I wouldn't say it is affecting my faith in Christ as much as it is revealing and clarifying the tensions present in the Catholic church and its teachings. I won't give examples here, as this would be trying to rewrite Taylor's scholarly essays. You'll find plenty of material in his first Chapter called Bulwarks of Belief.

As for secularity, the book is showing me perhaps why I see the world the way I do. I am a product of North America, circa 70s and 80s, having been shaped by its world view. So much of this is intrinsic to the formation my thinking that I could not easily critique why I think the way I do. I have had trouble trying to interpret my reading of Scripture over the years (both in the English and in Koine) and how this applies to modern life, only to realize that perhaps the folks from the bible wrote based on a cosmos principle that colored the way that their minds saw the heavens and the earth.

I have also had trouble trying to understand the apparent stability of the universe and of physical and chemical laws including complex systems (such as a healthy mind and the conception of physical life) irrespective of moral choice and action in contrast to the literature of the Old and New Testament Scriptures and the teachings of the church.

I know way too much (and for quite a long time by now, like since 12) for any naive belief to be truly sincere to God (I tried but I couldn't follow God based on blind belief). But why should I be blamed it? I can't return to the village after having visited Paris. It's time to take the bull by the horns and deal with these matters to gain perspective and make an informed judgment. After all, why has God given me faculties to inquire and investigate only to have these become the lubrication of a slippery slope into the lake of fire?

In my opinion critical thinking, reason, and clarity must be tools and not stymies to belief in the modern age. Hell, there's no going back for me! The cat's out of the bag. It is from here that I will continue my journey.

Pride: A Void that Grows

I am puzzled by the proud smugness and complacency exuded by some of the people I that have made my acquaintance throughout the days of my life. Their attitude of pure confidence, assuredness and competency in all things that they are involved with is awe-inspiring (no sarcasm intended). It would seem that pride respects no class of person, because that same confidence felt by the semi-literate high school brawler is the same one as the hard-working blue-collar family man and the same as the brilliant academic researcher, and so on.

I will try to dramatize these thoughts of mine to put them into perspective using odd examples. I’ll start with the first example…

In a schoolyard he clenches white his bleeding knuckles and strains to see the prize laying before him. Through the red blur of blood from the cut on his forehead, caused by a punch issued in desperation by his would be victim, can be seen a boy of solid build on the ground shaking, bloody, snotty; a muddy mess. The victor stands over his head and feels wave after wave of pride filling him with pleasure. Put into words he could be thinking:

<<… I am the strongest here; that prick deserved his beating; never mess with me; look at me everyone I’m on top; ha! Man, he feels pain now—good for him; it’s his justice; I delivered that shot to his head—everyone saw it; I am known now, my reputation is set; no one will mess with me; you all owe me your respect; I look down on you all…>>

Maybe this is a bit over the top, but bear with me for another example.

A stalwart 55-year-old elevator installer in perfect health has worked for 30-years and is ready to retire with a golden handshake, cashing out a year of accumulated holiday and sick leave, and topped with a rock-solid pension for life. His equally healthy yet beautiful 49-year-old wife took early retirement from the police force with a similar benefits package in order for the couple to begin a 6-month road trip across the USA and Canada. Ten years ago they had won a $500,000 jackpot during a casino trip in up-state New York. To add to their bounty, an investment tip from his employer netted them a 5-fold profit after a local-high tech start-up burst into the stars after a record-setting market IPO. Their house, a handsomely decorated manor (inherited from his mother) and full of antique furniture, showcases four acres of manicured waterfront property, including a large dock, and boat garage. A cottage nestled in central Ontario sooths the soul with it diamond-like reflection from the giant lake, dominated by three jet skis, and a twenty five-foot fishing boat and trailer keeps the family occupied during the sunny summer months of the year. Not to mention the sixty-foot motor coach, the late-model luxury sedan, that new SUV, and the restored vintage sports car with all the tools one could need. They share this with their four children with two grandchildren on the way (twins; a boy and a girl, healthy and strong). Put into words the couple if consumed with pride could be thinking:

<<..Look at us; See what we have built; God’s prosperity is smiling on us; Our hard work has paid off; God helps those who help themselves; Damn those lazy bastards; Screw those greedy prick bean counters taxing me to death—if they could tax the hairs on my ass they would send the tax man with tweezers ready to count; the poor who are lazy get what they deserve; probably drunk, junked up, and over sexed; don’t talk to me about giving hand-outs to these drags; get a friggen job you good for nothing scumbags; I have so much life left to live and enjoy (proof: my great grandmother is 110 and my grandmother ran a marathon last summer at 80! and they’re still going strong); we’re better than anyone in our neighborhood, better than those half-stock humans looking frail and decrepit only five years older than we are; look and see our superiority: my kid’s in police academy; the other kid’s a doctor; the smartest a scientist; and the best a business man; we’re the top stock in the town; everyone comes to us for advice; good for them, we know what’s best for them; they’re useless without us anyway; we’re the center of attention and for good reason they know it…>>

Harsh? Bizarre? Granted, most hard-working couples don’t share these sentiments. If they did, might the feelings of pride cause them to sputter some of this non-sense? Fully deluded their consciences flounder under the irresistible allure of the pleasure of pride. Yet the delight and enchantment bring with it a powerful temptation to incorrectly interpret their talent and social standing as some kind of license to pride. If my reader is still with me, you might like the next example.

Nobody could believe it! Before a panel of 25 globally selected music judges the precocious boy of 9 beat out every other competitor at the annual 20 Under 20 Royal Conservatory of Music competition with a heavenly rendition of Mozart’s 16th Sonata in C major. After mastering the masters of music, he was exposed at the age of 17 to visual arts and could not be stopped; one by one he knocked them down like straw men: symbolism, impressionism, post-impressionism, cubism, modern. Remind the curator at the Lennox Contemporary Arts Collection about this boy and you will force a divine chill through her spine as the images of shocking beauty momentarily fill her mind with ecstatic transcendence. Once her quivering lips return to their natural powers she will tell you that nothing shall ever approach the beauty of that boy’s work. Now a man of 22 he tired of the paintings, those galleries full of gawking critics moved to tears and handing him their hearts. Now he was seized by an unnatural motivation to excel and to conquer any subject that dare lay bare before his devouring mind. With ferocious desire he consumed the corpus of mathematics; the oeuvre of physics; the sum of theoretical astronomy; the fringes of science. Though it was not enough to limit himself the polymath decided to absorb philosophy comprising logic, esthetics, ethics, politics, and yes, that sweet, succulent, irresistible body called metaphysics. The calls kept coming in from MIT, Cambridge, and Paris. Join us, chair our team, and lead us to new horizons. At the age of 53 he had already won the Nobel Peace Prize 6 times. But there were problems. An edge began to sharpen within his soul carving out a void chasmed deeper with every concept, precept and method he discovered, developed, and assimilated from his studies and research. Lately that crater of pride began drawing to itself attention. Slowly at first, a tempting itch. Obliging he found he enjoyed it, and it began to ooze and fester filling more with pride slithering slime down the slippery walls of the chasm. He began to nurture this pool. Looking downward into it he saw himself reflected, bigger, more beautiful, beyond compare. He no longer saw other people for who they were and what they represented—i.e., the special unique creation of God—but as obstacles preventing his advancement and contenders threatening his academic hegemony. Our pool of pride takes on a life of its own and calls out “Come inside for a dip, you’ll like it here.” The irresistible waves of pleasure cause his knees to sink, and without control he stumbles into this pride drunk with intoxicant vapor. Looping with infinite regression the void grows and pride fills within it; the nothingness and emptiness produce the disintegration of the man.

Is it brash? OK, it might be. There are some coarser concepts that may need refinement. The point is that pride is unnatural and the opposite of creation. The more a person becomes pride filled, the more his humanity disappears and is replaced by the void. In the end one ceases to exist. The corollary, to be sure: being human and more alive is the goal of life and the opposite of pride.

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Product of My Environment or Enjoyment of my Product?

I've heard the argument that free-market capitalism relates to the common person in terms of "keeping up with the Jones'" a positive feedback loop ever increasing and expanding our consumption of materials, land, and human life force. Where vanity and power reflect purely the drive of material success. What is missing here is the drive of pleasure.

What I do not deny is that the current rate of environmental impact cannot be sustained indefinitely. This is true, but this is not what I want to address here now. And my reader is not to suspect that I have any secret motive against the most pervasive economic system. In my view the most successful and useful system of wealth generation and of techniques to raise mankind higher in knowledge and power over his environment.

As a member of this consumption-driven culture I have been manipulated greatly and tragically by the minds of powerful creative manipulators, armed with the most effective known methods for concentrating my desires onto the devices and services to which they have been tasked to sell me. As a child I was convinced to love plastic, metals, and cardboard more than flesh; meaning, my GI Joe figures, Hotwheels, games, and other toys would occupy a very large place in my heart. All of these things are meaningless to me now no matter how much I may have enjoyed, idolized, horded, fantasized, or fought over. Nonetheless I was (and still am) a product of my environment that cannot be denied.

Sure, many of these materialistic desired have evolved their way into my adult life and have found places within my expanding region of life experience. Categories within the priorities system that I have faciliated, where the rays of light shine down over these places stirring up interest within them as the sun shines down on the land to give growth to the plants below. I cannot always control which or how these desires are awakened, and through the clever synthesis of advertisers and marketing experts shine this light over these exposed regions of categories bringing to my awarness old and new desires. In other words, taking what I already know of products and services and inventing new ways for me to enjoy them.

OK, so enough with the self-diagnostics. The fact is that my body seeks after comfort and my mind after beauty. Things like greed, vanity, and competition are other sociological factors that

relate to consumerism. I supposed I could theorize that I am feeling more comfortable than you are (perhaps by measuring my blood pressure or by my unfurrowed brow?), or that my widget is more beautiful that yours (perhaps by taking a poll of 1500 respondents about what is beautiful?), but this is not what I am talking about here. Truly my quest is to seek out experiences or consult with wise council as to what would cater to my body and to my sense of beautiful. Who else would know better than others who have experienced these for themselves?

My first car was a comfortable and beautiful Chevy Cavalier, it had more curves than my 10-speed bicycle and was more more comfortable, especially while driving in the rain or snow. As a young man my experience with cars was limited and so anything was better than my bicycles. So there is a kind of inflation of requirements the older and more experienced one becomes. After the engine on my Cavalier blew I needed a reliable car and so I got a Honda Civic, then three years later I needed more power so I got a faster Civic, then 4 years later I needed more space so I got a Sonata, then 4 years later I expect I will inprove on the comfort and beauty for my next vehicle. It would be very difficult for me to go back to a small or inexpensive car knowing what I know of my expectations for comfort and beauty. Of course not everyone is impressed by cars, so this could be replaced by any such consumable object.

In summary, there is an increasing scale of demands placed on the consumer according to physical comfort and perceived beauty which increases up to a certain level for a given consumable.

As Jesus teaches me, even though my body contains vessels of delights that can store up pleasures (physical comforts and percieved beauty) these vessels will fairly quickly, and will deplete themselves leaving a void. These things are not meant to be ends within themselves, but are a part of what it means to be human. Ultimately education of the limitations of stimulation and perceptions are keys to wisdom.

Fed up with Dogmatism

My mind seems always tuned to prove some of the characteristics of God through the analogy of observed reality. I've always been a kind of doubting Thomas and find myself from time to time with shallow faith. It's easy for me to portray a brave face and simply assert that God is the author of creation, that he has a plan for me, that he loves his creation, that I can be saved, that I am persevering, etc. It is far more difficult to formulate a rationale (i.e., realization) for these assertions considering the obvious paradoxes of our world. I think it is intellectually dishonest for me to rely on assertion, i.e., blind faith, and to forgo the process of rigorously trying to understand the nature of the revealed God through his creation. To my credit, perhaps as a grace, I have been looking closely at the nature of things in order to extract any possible revelation that I can from the observable universe and the human beings of this world.

This method unfortunately has some disadvantages. First, it is very difficult to explain these reasons to others, because the language is limited (the words and analogies I can find in my repertoire to describe these reasons and the general depth of the material to consider). Second, I am seeing it more like a personal quest and not useful for the edification of others (although other truth seekers I've come across are perspicacious enough to engage in useful dialog). Third, it is contrary to dogmatism--this is where I can get into trouble with those who see the world as black and white, true and false, saved and damned.

To be sure, I believe all of the precepts of the Apostles' Creed. Yet, I cannot stop there; I feel the need to continue further speculation. This requires a steady diet of 'thought variety' of learning new points of view, new systems of thought, new opinion, new mantras, new knowledge; a greater wisdom. I can get into trouble if I say these words in earshot of dogmatists.

As a material being in a world made of stuff, dealing every day with stuff, being sustained through stuff, thinking about stuff, I would conclude justly that I have an inseparable bond with the material world--it sustains me, it teaches me, it guides me. I've got nothing else to go on; I should use it--this only makes sense! I think in concrete terms, things that I can see, things that I can understand, things that I am still trying to grasp (as far as I have experienced there has been no knowledge outside of my senses and of the a priori categories of knowledge). So far the angel Gabriel has not descended to my mind in order to correct idols (i.e., erroneous and heretical imagery I use to represent God as I pray to Him, and think about Him as I reflect the nature of God, etc), nor to correct any logical errors I am making, any misconceptions I have about God and others, etc. Yes, spirit is important, but I'm allowed my next breath so long as my heart beats and I draw oxygen to my lungs, hence my close relationship to matter and material things. How do I know that I am pleasing to God? I can get into trouble if I say these words in earshot of dogmatists.

I am also flesh, I wear clay shoes on my clay feet at church and outside of church. These are the shoes I've been given (Adam's broken covenant). I share this fashion--these clay shoes--with all of humanity. Yet the divinity of the invisible God is made visible through human beings. These humans are the "last mile" so-to-speak from heaven and the ones we must work with everyday of our lives. To do so properly requires a realistic understanding of humans, the ones living here, far away from here, and in past eras, even these whose religions and worldviews are not the same as mine. Again I can get into trouble if I say these words in earshot of dogmatists.

I will necessarily need to venture outside the circle of received wisdom. I live in universe of plenitude--trillions different things located in different regions within space-time, each having different quantities and qualities; I see a plenitude cultures--hundreds of civilizations spanning thousands of years; I see a plenitude of people--each unique, each his own person, each a special creation; I see plenitude of apparently contradicting worldviews and thought systems.

I am fully fed up with typical programmed biblical responses from the dogmatists, whose straight-jacket thinking and myopic view of reality precludes the possibility of truth outside the 31,000 verses of Scripture. A one-size-fits-all approach constrains the possibilities and does not comport with reality.